I really can't be bothered to spell it out to everyone individually so here it is for all to see...
This morning I got a letter from the Student Loan company, the payment was going to be paid by my mother, so I went up to her and simply asked here if she had already paid it, because I thought she had, and I was worried that the letter was a mistake.
She turned to me and said, that she didn't know how to pay it because they automatically take money out of you pay cheque. I asked how she was going to pay it if it comes out of my pay cheque, and said that I would phone them to find out, to which she said I was expecting more money off her again...
This is where things started to go wrong, I could see where this was headed, but I had to try and defend myself...
Now from the very beginning of me starting college she said that she would pay if I passed... I passed and all of a sudden she changes her mind. Then she goes on about other money I owe, like the money that I accumulated when out in Aus.
As many of you know, I went out to Australia to meet up with Qeeko and while I was out there got engaged to her. Not long after the brown excretal matter hit the rotary breeze generator.
What happened was we ended up wandering around Australia hoping to find somewhere to stay from a week before Christmas and January 25th which was our flight back to the UK. Apparently (according to her) I in that time accumulated a cost of £2000, really thinking about this, it's doubtful... but fine. Every phone call I ever made from my phone, and every text message I RECIVED I paid for. that then ended up costing somewhere in the region of £400 over the 3 months.
The £2000, which I will not debate for sake of saving from an argument, was something which was out of my control. We had to keep moving and in keeping moving meant that we couldn't afford to buy food to use over a week, we were buying fast food and food joints for a while.
Not to mention the travel expenses.
Now, with all this in mind, and the fact that I want to find a way to have Emily stay with me... and hopefully marry me, I've been looking for a job.
But any effort I make just isn't good enough.
e.g.
I had a job lined up, I wasn't to sure at first... but shockingly a door to door sales man selling Kirby Vacuum cleaners became interesting. And just as it became interesting, my mother encouraged me NOT to take that job. Why because looking over the amount of money I'd have to spend... I would be spending more on fuel and buying the product, than I would selling them. I worked out I'd have to sell 6 per month. and these things were bloody expensive...
So she said, no worries, enjoy your week end and then we can start looking for a job again on the Monday. Monday came along and I had just gone down the job centre to sign on for my Job Seekers Allowance... dole...
While I was there I looked in there for jobs to apply for. I came home I phoned 2 people and I phoned T-Mobile.
this was in the space of 3 hours perhaps... and my mother already started to have a go at me saying I wasn't putting enough effort in!
Anyway, I realise I owe her that as well and she’s getting really shitty with me...
I try to point out that I realise that I owe this money, but with other commitments and NOT HAVING A JOB, I couldn't afford to give it to her at this point in time. That’s reasonable I hear you say.
But not for her.
Apparently she knows that I have no intention of paying her what so ever, and she starts and turns it in to a full scale argument, based upon this 'fact', with her doing her best to drag me down even throwing insults and the rest at me.
I'm not going to tell you I was the Paladin Champion of peace... I wasn't when it got bad, I was trying to counter what she had said, but out of utter shock at some of the things she was fabricating... I just couldn't think up anything intelligible to say.
Then, It appeared I backed her into a corner, something she couldn't deny, I only wish I could tell you what it was because the next thing she said hurt more than anything else. Like someone with no where else to go she reached below my belt and said:
Yeah... some Christian you are!
And other people have said it too, they can't believe how you can call yourself a Christian and treat your family the way you do!
Lets skip what happened next... and just say it all ended with her informing me that there were 2 suitcases and she suggests I use them.
So I grab the suitcases and Qeeko and myself start to pack.
Our plan was simple, eat breakfast and go out, but instead out of a simple gesture of concern, I get told that I don't care about anyone in this family...
Well after packing I get a phone call...
I applied for a job in games workshop, I thought this was awesome... a job in which I can enjoy what I'm doing, a job where my hobby is what I'm doing for a living. There’s not much time before we have to get something done about the visa to keep Qeeko here. So I desperate.
And so I'm going down to games workshop at least twice a week, really pushing myself... basically spending money on fuel that I don't have. trying to build up my gaming knowledge.
Then today after 4 weeks of this... I get told that I was the best suited person for this job... but because of the accumulation of a few little things... I didn't get it.
Marvellous.
Out of frustration of all that Id done, and fear of what was to come, I sat and cried.
After a while we got up and went to Swansea, to games workshop and I had a long chat with the manager, he basically explained that it wasn't 100% his decision and there were things I could have been better at. But now wasn't the time for me to become a member of staff...
Consolation came in when he actually explained that I was the best for the job, and considering he wasn't able to employ me, he didn't employ anyone. So I'm looking for anything right now, anything until this job is available to me again. And now I have no time to be picky... I mean anything.
So we get home and go strait to my room, a few hours later I emerge and go down stairs looking for something to drink, and sitting there in the kitchen is my father...
I try talking to him, but al I get is sharp cold one word answers. Until after awhile I take the bait and ask him, what’s wrong?
I get the response I was expecting, my mother has gone bitching to my father.
There was one difference this time though... this time he's had enough. Right, this guy is here Mondays, Thursdays after 9PM, Friday Saturday and Sunday, he isn't here during the week he has no idea what 'having enough' is. So ok I play his game, and what he's going to do is sit us all down, to pretend we're a family and he's going to treat us like one of his work clients...
I don't want to be a part of that.
As far as I'm concerned, acting link we're a family can not be achieved be being treated like we're business. And I am not going to be treated like I'm someone’s job!
Besides, this has all been done before... My mother has a bitch, my father backs her, I don't get to say anything and I'm left with the punishment. Then they call in my sister, my mother has a bitch and she storms out, and I'm called back in to receive the punishment.
So for now, I'll play their game.
They want to see me squirm, and they will see me squirm.
After all, I have no where to go, I have no job and no money. They have me in exactly the right place for them to poke me with their sticks and cut me with their attacks and insults... but this time I'm going to take it all... and I'm just going to agree to everything they say.
It'll piss my father off, because his brilliant plan isn't working, and it'll piss my mother off.. because I'm sure all she wants is an argument... one she won't get.
And I would have done nothing wrong, but I will receive one hell of a punishment for it.
That was my day, how about you?
---ART---
I have a few things I want to get done:
I have a piece of artwork congratulating Cailen on his 50,000 page views!
And Mewgle is insisting on more stuff... so I guess I could upload some more old stuff and see about CGing some of the new stuff.
---Ultima-Java NEWS---
There is still an error on me accessing the server, but I can access the files using my FTP program. the only problem is I now have no access to my e-mail account.
So anyone who has e-mailed me since the 8th of April... your mail has not come through. sorry.
Either post a note here, or a comment on my live journal, or PM me on UJF.
What else is going on... hmmm...
I think that’s it... if there’s anything else I'll let you know!
Current Mood: 
distressed
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Calming down
impressed
Defeated...
irate
crazy
tired
determined